It's not horse meat it's monkey bread

When AB asked what I was baking and I said Monkey Bread, he was a little concerned that in light of the UK horse meat scandal I had taken things a bit too far. Once I explained it didn't contain any actual traces of monkey all was well. 

Honestly I'm not sure what all the fuss is about, I had horse when I was studying in "a Roma" and found the mystery of it more exciting that the reality. Tastes like chicken, I mean beef.

This recipe is a variation from the one in the Great British Bake Off book how to bake. I don't think I have bought a loaf of bread since I auditioned for the Australian version. I didn't get in, but I realise that for reality TV you can't be too talented, too good looking or too nice, failed in all 3 areas, my story and I'm well and truly sticking to it.

Rosemary and Parmesan Monkey Bread
Ingredients

• 500g strong white flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 7g dried yeast
• 50g unsalted butter melted
• 200g lukewarm milk
• 1 large egg

For assembly

• 100g unsalted butter melted
• 1 clove of garlic
• 200g shredded Parmesan
• 3 stalks of rosemary, leaves finely chopped

Method

• Into a stand mixer add milk and 50g butter, egg, yeast, flour and salt.
• Knead into a soft dough
• Leave to rise in an oiled bowl till it has doubled in size, about 1 hour.

• Punch down the dough and then pull it apart into about 60 little balls

• Wedge the garlic into the 100grams of butter and melt in the microwave, about 1 minute. It will give the hint of garlic without being over powering.



• Dip the balls of dough into the butter and then cheese and rosemary and put into a greased loaf pan.
• Use up all the balls making sure it looks even (ish)
• Place into a plastic back and let rise till doubled in size, about 1 hour.

• Bake in a 200 degree Celsius oven for 35 minutes or golden brown.
• Loosen from the tin using a knife and cool on a wire rack (if you can resist just eating it)
• The loaf can be sliced or just pulled apart like monkeys grooming each other, perhaps use a knife that sounds a bit gross.



Mother Hubbards work lunch

As much as I would love it, like most people I don't have a Nigella sized pantry or a Master Chef store room that is restocked by the ingredient fairies overnight.
So there are time I stand in front of the fridge/pantry and say I have nothing to make. This quick post was the result of throwing some of the nothing together and ending up with a pretty good work lunch or side salad.

Rocket chickpea salad
Ingredients (or whatever you have on hand)

• rocket (washed)
• 1 can chickpeas (or soak dried)
• chopped capsicum
• chopped red onion
• chopped sweet chili
• Juice of 2 oranges
• good splash olive oil
• salt and pepper

Method

• Combine all ingredients and toss
• I didn't make the dressing separately I just added it all together.
• Serve and enjoy the pleasure of creating something from what seemed nothing.

That's not how you make porridge...

I cook with the philosophy of Yoda, you'd think Julia Child would be more appropriate but no, Yoda, it is.

So when I was watching an episode of River Cottage where they made a breakfast bar, it did not deter me that I only had 3 of the ingredients required. The peanut butter was substituted for some tahini blended with some pecans and hazelnuts, the honey was golden syrup and so on. The key is never be afraid to cook, it may not arrive as the planned but you have created an original recipe (just pray its edible).
This is the original River Cottage recipe below is a combination of my replacement ingredients and a trip to the shops.

Date and Oat Bar
Ingredients

• 125 grams unsalted butter
• 80 grams brown sugar
• 150 grams total combined weight of peanut butter and tahini (how much of each is up to you)
• 80 grams honey
• zest of 1 lemon and lime
• 300 grams rolled oats (450 grams if you want extra crunchy bars)
• 150 grams chopped dates
• 150 grams mixed seeds, Pepita, linseed, sunflower and black sesame
• 50 grams almond meal
• extra honey and white sesame seeds

Method

• In a large pot melt butter, brown sugar, peanut butter, tahini and honey on low heat.

• Add remaining ingredients and mix well

• Press into a greased pan (i used 18cm x 28cm, but what ever you have is fine)
• Drizzle top with extra honey and sprinkle with sesame seeds
• bake at 160 degrees Celsius for 30 minutes.
• Cool completely before cutting.

I store this in the fridge, mostly because is a million degrees at the moment and it is really nice chilled.

Orange, Lemon and Lime Cordial

This is a budget saving recipe for those horrible days of summer where you just pray for some snow. Summer and I have never been friends.
This cordial is beyond easy, it really is just heating water, everyone can do that..I hope!
There is a real joy in the DIY homemade, you can create a gem with the stuff you have in the fridge.

Orange, Lemon and Lime Cordial

Ingredients

• 2 litres of water
• 1 cup of sugar
• 4 oranges
• 1 lemon
• 1 lime
• 1 tablespoon of citric acid (optional)

Method

• Add water and sugar and citric acid to a saucepan
• Zest all the fruit and add to the pan
• Stir to dissolve sugar and simmer just below boiling for about 30 minutes.
• Add the juice of all the fruit, strained to avoid pips.
• Leave to cool
• Strain cordial into bottles.( I didn't strain this one as the zest is ultra soft)

To use just dilute with water to your preference, weak vs strong. Or serve in a jug with more slices of fruit and some mint. (mint not pictured blame summer!!)

A splash of vodka and ice could achieve a delightful beverage for responsible adults only

I can't find Georgie Parker



There are some recipes that stay with you throughout your life, the cut out scraps, the scribbled handed down note or some times the entire magazine. With technology this has become the scan or photo or bookmark. My bursting cupboards of cook books are very grateful to technology!

This recipe I have been making for 13 years and has stayed with my through interstate and local moves. I can be heard every so often saying "I can't find Georgie Parker"

While I understand that Georgie Parker may have nothing to do with these cookies, but because she was on the cover they have taken her name.

I have just scanned the recipe as it appeared in the magazine, and after 13 years it might be looking a little worse for wear. Isn't that the joy of the old treasures?

 

 

 

Larger picture

My Variations  

•  Choc walnut, add 75g of cocoa powder and 100g chopped walnuts. I don't increase the icing sugar as the recipe suggest, I like the bitterness.
• Lemon and Rosemary, omit the vanilla and a add the zest of 1 lemon and 1 finely chopped sprig of rosemary (about 5 cms, leaves not stalk)

 

 

 

 

 

Munching 9 to 5 - Carrot and cheese salad

No it's not a job as a taste tester, as awesomely appealing as that sounds.

The next offering in the War on Terrible Food aka BYO work lunch series.

This salad has had a couple of incarnations and can be used as an indicator of how our eating has changed over the years. When I was at school the major ingredient to this was a jar of mayonnaise, these days it gets a light dressing of olive oil and lemon juice.
If I'm honest the tasty model below only got a drizzle of olive oil, no lemon or salt and pepper, and it was just as yum.

Carrot and Cheese Grateness
Serves 1

Ingredients

• 2 medium carrots grated
• 50 grams grated cheese
• 1 fun size box (40g) sultanas
• black and white sesame seeds
• Olive oil
• juice of 1/2 small lemon

Method

• Add carrot, cheese, and sultanas to a bowl.
• Mix through a drizzle of oil and the lemon juice.
• Top with a sprinkle of seeds and run out the door to work.

Making it the night before will let the sultanas soak up the dressing and the carrots soften. You can also experiment with any seeds that take your fancy, lineseed, chia, pumpkin seeds.

War on terrrible food....

Enough is enough, I will no longer spend money on substandard work lunches or any food for that matter.
Make the pledge with me people.

I came to this mission after a month of the dodgy cafe next to my work ( it's a captive audience type arrangement), over priced, under flavoured, and about as healthy as a packet of Winnie Blue.
So as I stood in line looking at the upside down friands, waiting way to long for the usual bad coffee, I thought what am I doing here, I can cook, why am I wasting my money with somewhere that clearly can't.
My criteria was it has to be something cold and quick that was desk edible. I also want something healthy that tasted evil, and not like grass and dirt.
This wasn't part of a new years resolution as it has been sitting in draft for about 2 months. I'm not fond of the crazy diet resolution as it ends up like a business I saw on twitter. "Resolutions Gym" January it is a gym, from February to December it's a tapas bar.
Although one change I will make this year is to not eat at any resturant that is happy to throw their food out a window, e.g. no drive-thru.

This was the first wave of troops. Enjoy, and stop paying for rubbish food!

Corn Salsa Salad
The quantity of each ingredient is really up to you, I base it around 1 can of corn.

Ingredients

• 1 410gram can of corn kernels
• 1 head cos lettuce
• 1 handful cherry tomatoes
• 2 red onions finely sliced
• 1 Lebanese cucumber
• 1 long chili
• 1 handful flat leaf parsley
• 1 handful coriander
• 1 lime
• 2 tablespoons of olive oil

Method

• Drain corn
• Roughly chop lettuce, cucumber, chili, tomatoes and herbs.
• Combine in a bowl
• Add juice of the lime and 2 table spoons of olive oil
• Toss and serve
• If you take as much care with the chopping as it do, you will be finished in under 3 minutes.
• So many variations, add avocado, capsicum, mint.